Something happens when the bride says, “I do it.” She not only finds a husband but in many cases, she is also a mother-in-law. The bonds between the two daughters-in-law are sometimes compared to the close friendship Ruth and Naomi had. But too many women describe these relationships as fragile, tense, and competitive.
I was amazed at the number of responses I received from my mother-in-law. I was also amazed at the depth of their feelings.
One woman told me about the first visit by her in-laws, more than twenty years ago. Her memories are still painful. As a new bride, she served a turkey meal, chestnut stuffing, canned cranberry sauce… “every nine yards.” As the family sat down for dinner, the new bride was overjoyed at how things all went. Until… the topic turns to how many in-laws turkey eaters in the past two months have eaten and how much better the cranberry sauce made better than the canned version. Her mother-in-law then asked, “What are these lumps in this implant?”
A good relationship building formula with your daughter-in-law
I got a three-page response from another bride about her mom and her daughter’s visit all night. One time, the mother-in-law was lying in bed with a migraine as she instructed her daughter to clean the house. The little girl cried out that everything was clean.
One woman poured out her heart to me. Although she and her husband have been married for more than three decades, she still feels that no matter what she does, she will never meet her mother-in-law’s standards. Daughter in law gift is more important in a family to show some love from the mother-in-law.
Cut the strings of the pinafore and go to your son
Do not fight for position by holding on to your son’s time and emotions. Beautiful mothers want their children to have beautiful marriages. ”
Talk to your daughter-in-law about difficult things
“If you’re a family man, make yourself available. Families fight, discuss their problems and that is why they are solved. This can be done in a loving and constructive way. You do not have to say/say/state the situation. Going through the motions of pretending not to be there is no good, it hurts everyone in the long run. ”
Remember, Satan is targeting your relationship with you. ”
Commend your daughter-in-law; never criticize
“Honor your daughter-in-law in front of your son. Praise your daughter-in-law; never criticize. ”
Your daughter-in-law may be different from you. Accept who she is
Try to understand her point of view and how her family works. ”
Don’t set expectations for your daughter-in-law
“Don’t expect visits, phone calls, etc.
Remember that your son has always been wrong
“You love your son and your daughter-in-law. Every change you see in your son is not about him. ”
Accept the motive of your son’s and daughter-in-law’s
Show interest in the things that are most important to them… even if you think they are making bad decisions. ”
Don’t be upset if the bride does not follow your wishes, dreams, and values. ”
Try to understand her
“Ask questions in order to understand. Do not tell your daughter-in-law what to do. ”